Catch Me When I'm Gone
by Dreams Are Bursting Bubbles
Summary: “Safe me, please,” she pleaded. – “Don’t worry. She won’t hurt you again. You’re safe now. I’m with you. I won’t leave you, ever.” Jee closed her eyes. “Don’t promise me something you can’t hold.” He looked into her eyes. “I don’t. I love you."
1. Hold Me Back If You Can

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Please review anyways.

_**Catch Me When I'm Gone**_

"Jee! Jee! Jelowna! Look what I've got!"

A little boy, around two and a half years old, was running towards a teenage girl, his hands full of orange, red and yellow leaves. She stood there, smiling, while her long raven black hair was moving in the cold autumn wind. Her plump lips were closed; she smiled brightly at the cream white clouds in the sky, surrounded by the trees of a forest. She wore blue worn-out jeans and a green long sleeve t-shirt. She also had a brown-blue shoulder bag and opened her arms for the little boy. He jumped into them as she lifted him up; pressing her cheek against his head, she felt home and happy. They looked very similar – the same black hair, the same tanned skin, and most importantly, they had the same unique eyes. The same mixture out of blue, green and golden, with the same darkness, but still – hers were realistic, his were carefree; hers had seen too much for her liking, his were searching for the little adventures he wanted to see every day. Hers hoped for miracles, his trusted in miracles. Hers showed a soul with scars, his showed a soul saved in the last moment.

"What did you find, Danny?" He showed her the coloured leaves he had collected. Her eyes memorized the way the colours had changed as if her life depended on that. After a while, she looked at the little boy who held tightly onto her and studied her face. "Which one do you like most?" His hands searched through them quickly, until he held a leaf with a golden colour in his hands. "It's like gold," he stated happily. She nodded once, let the other leaves fall to the ground and put his favourite leaf in her bag as both their stomachs grumbled.

"I'm hungry," the boy murmured against the girl's chest. She stroked his hair and lifted him onto her shoulders. He loved sitting there. "I know you're hungry. But I don't have money," she sighed. "Let me see if we can get any bread, OK?" He nodded and started playing with her hair as she was running out of the forest, touching the tress on her way. Her heart felt heavier as she came closer to town. Being in Port Angeles, she had to see the supermarkets, all those little nice shops other people could go in and buy food. Food. She was hungry, and so was her brother. It was evening and they had had neither breakfast nor lunch.

She stopped in front of a bakery. It smelled delicious, her mouth watered just by looking at the little cakes and cookies. She sighed before she went in, keeping her head low and avoiding every eye contact. "Hello, what would you like to have?" The girl behind the counter asked. Jee said quietly but still confidently, "A bread, please."

She got her bread. "That makes four dollars," the girl demanded, but Jee only gave her one last glance before rushing out. She sprinted, with Danny on her back now, a few hundreds of meters further, until the girl's shouts were gone and she had reached her home again: the forest.

Looking around, Jee sat Danny on the ground before she shared the bread with her brother. It was old and hard, but their hunger disappeared as it was getting dark. It was not the first time she had stolen. But she always took only the things she needed; it made her feel slightly better, but it was never enough. One day, the teenage girl had promised herself, she would have a job and earn her own money. She would buy food and not steal any more; she would take care of Danny without betraying anyone. One day.

_Not good, not good_, Jee thought as she lifted the boy on her back again and made her way to her so called 'home'.

It was an old house, old and dirty. The blue colour had fallen off of the walls, the door was unlocked and it was definitely not the kind of house you would want to live in. But Jee had no choice – or so she thought. She chose living here above the other possibilities, though. It was best for Danny and she would deal with everything else.

Quickly, she stepped through the front door, and set Danjiero on the floor. He stood up and tried to walk, but fell down again. Jee chuckled slightly as she watched him. He was so clumsy and cute. She ignored his following attempts to walk and searched through the fridge. It was nearly empty; only a half-full milk container was there. She took it and cooked the milk; it would be enough to feed Danny. Her own well-being was not important to her. She ate as much as she had to; she gave Dan the rest of the food she had. He was the important thing. He made her smile again as he tackled her leg, lifting his arms up to signal her he wanted to be picked up.

After she had fed him, Danny drifted off to sleep. Jee wrapped cloths around him so he wouldn't get cold; there were no heaters. She settled down on the couch, with Dan on her lap, as she heard the front door open and her mother came in.

She looked horrible. Her skin was nearly green. Her eyes were sharp, her lips pressed into a line. Balling her hands into fists, she looked like she wanted to kill somebody. She was beyond angry. Jee had gotten used to that – or, in other words, she tried to ignore it and succeeded at least most of the time.

"Juliette! Where are you?" She demanded.

Jee stood up, placed a kiss on Danny's forehead, and headed to her mother. "What is the matter?" She asked politely, but she couldn't hide the hatred in her eyes.

"What are you doing?! You're such a burden! How could you leave the door open like that?"

Jee closed her eyes. She hadn't left the door open, but said, "I'm very sorry, mother."

The woman screamed, "Sorry! She's sorry! That doesn't help you! You are horrible! How could Joshua have ever loved something like that? I tell you! He has never loved you! No-one has!"

Those words hurt. Jee put a hand over her aching heart as the tears started to flow.

"You are a bitch! A bastard! He hated you! And you killed him! If it weren't for you, he would never have gotten into this accident! It was BECAUSE OF YOU! You bastard!" Her mother slapped her across her face, hard. Jee didn't do anything, she stumbled backwards but her mother followed her.

With another slap, Jee fell down. "How could you?!" Her mother screamed, and then kicked Jee into her side. It hurt – even more than usual. But Jee – Jee was used to physical pain.

"You killed him! You killed your own father! You are a murderer! Go to hell!" Her mom took a knife and stabbed it into Jee's arm. The girl screamed in pain as she tried to pull the knife out again. Her mother did it brutally, but then she kicked her sides again, before her fists were connected with Jee's knee. The girl's screams were loud, she screamed for help, but no-one heard her.

Jee wasn't fully aware of what was happening. Again and again her mother hit her, cut her, kicked her, but Jee let it happen and did not realize it anymore. She concentrated on the rain; the little drops were falling against the windows. And with every drop, she felt a stabbing pain. Her heart hurt too much as she tried to tell herself that her mother wasn't right, her father had loved her, but Jee lost consciousness…

And woke up to another scream. It was light and painful – but it was not her own. In this very moment, Jee's decision was made.

It was Danny's. And with that realization, Jee stood up. She ignored the pain in her arm and her sides and walked over to the couch were her mother was holding Danny. In front of Jee's eyes, she slapped him across his face, her own tears fell down. Jee took Danny and shoved her mother out of the way. She held the boy bridal style; he didn't seem hurt. She ran upstairs into her room, and locked the door.

Whipping both their tears away, she laid Danny next to her on the bed, covered them with the sheets and fell asleep.

* * *

It was still dark outside when Jee woke up. She got out of the bed and took a nice shower. Then she put some clothes into her beg, took all the money she could find – it still wasn't much – and wrapped cloths around a sleeping Danny before she lifted him on her back.

With a last look back at the house, she sprinted quickly down the road. Jee was very fast and she didn't slow down until she reached the forest. Under the trees, she allowed herself to stop and catch her breath. Her new goal was to get away, and the only way for her was running.

After a while, she started walking again. She was watching the sunrise as Danny woke up. They ate a bit, then Jee took his hand and they went on walking for a few hours. When he got tired, Jee would lift him onto her back again; when they were hungry, they would eat the bread and drink some milk. It was always the same; a routine they had for at least a week, Jee didn't count the days. It didn't matter to her how long they were running. They always stayed in the forest, just to be safe. Jee knew the police would be looking for her and if they found her, she would have to live in an orphanage, again. She didn't want that. She was sixteen now, and she was going to stand on her own feet.

It was not as complicated as she has imagined it. To live on her own was pretty good. Jee was used to taking care of Danny for most of the time. Only the nights scared her.

She decided to sleep on trees. She climbed the biggest ones, so Danny could sleep on her lap for the first nights.

It were peaceful nights, actually. She would sit on one of the branches, watch the gorgeous sunset and with Danny on her lap, she would feel like home. When it got dark, she would tell Danny stories or sing the lullaby her dad used to sing to her. Then she would lean back and fall asleep, to wake up in the morning and start the new day.

Only, this morning she woke up because she felt fur on her skin. In the first moment, she felt shock – a wolf, a bear on the tree? – But then she saw the animal that had awoken her.

It was a ferret.

And with that, she giggled happily. The silver animal was climbing onto her shoulder, only to jump back onto her stomach, before it finally sat down on Danny's lap. He was wide-awake and petted his new furry friend lovingly. The ferret was so quick; before Jee could do anything, it was on her head. The girl shook her head forcefully, but the animal stayed there, and Danny was shaking with laughter. Without hesitation, Jee grabbed it softly and placed it on her shoulder. "Cheeky, aren't we?" She laughed. As if it had understood her, the ferret nodded quickly and then tackled Danny, who was squeaking so happily it made Jee smile. "Aye, Aye!" Danny cried helplessly as the ferret nuzzled his cheek. "Aye?" Jee laughed. "You want to call it 'Aye'?" Danny nodded. "Aye, come here!" The ferret didn't do anything but hopped onto Jee's shoulder – a place exactly for its liking, it seemed.

"Come back, Aye!" Danny smiled. Jee considered things for a moment. "Why don't we call her 'Avria'?" Avria meant happiness, and the ferret reminded Jee of happiness. The little boy nodded. "Aye!" Avria finally hopped onto the boy's stomach and curled up in a ball. Jee giggled. She found a few nuts in her bag and offered them to the ferret. Avria took them enthusiastically, and with that they had discovered her favourite food as well.

The days were happier with Avria. She stayed with them the all the time; she would be on the surrounding trees while the humans under them walked, but whenever the sun was setting, Avria would hop onto Jee's shoulder and eat with them. Jee's shoulder was the place she liked most; she loved Jee. The silver coloured animal did everything the girl asked, it was as if it could understand her, as if they spoke the same language, from heart to heart.

Still, it was hard for Jee. They days were long, and her feet were tired from all the walking. Her back ached from the sleeping on the trees and carrying Danny all the time. She wished he would be a better walker, but no, he got tired easily, so she had to carry him. At least, so she thought, they didn't need much food. She had had about fifty dollars when they had left Port Angeles, and she had still ten dollars left. It wasn't much, but she thought it was OK. She wasn't sure where exactly they were, but it couldn't be too far away. The day they found Avria – or she found them, Jee wasn't sure which way it had been – she had found the place she wanted to go to.

-Flashback-

"_Where would you want to live, Danny?" She had asked the little boy. He didn't consider it long and said, "Trees. And the ocean." __Jee agreed completely. She needed the forest, and she missed the water as well. They used to live next to a lake before they had moved two years ago to Port Angeles. _

-End Flashback-

It actually surprised Jee that Danny could remember the time they lived in the Cherokee reservation in Alabama. Jee was Native American; she was half Cherokee, because her mother was Cherokee, and she was half Quileute, because her Dad had been Quileute. She didn't know much about her father anymore. She knew he came to the Cherokee reservation because he needed to get away from his home. He fell in love with her mother and married her. He truly loved his wife.

Jee remembered him as a tall man with a dark skin tone. Hers was a little bit lighter, but Danny had the same skin as her father. She knew she looked very similar to him. They shared the same straight hair and the same eyes. The teenage girl remembered her father's smile. She remembered how he would sing always the same lullaby for her, and how he would tell her the legends of his tribe. They were the stories about wolves and imprinting. Jee loved those stories, and even now, Jee would tell Danny the same stories their father had told her. She knew her father had loved his tribe. Her mother was the only reason why he didn't go back. Instead, he lived all his life in the Cherokee reservation, until he died four years ago. Since then, her mother hadn't been the same.

Jee shook her head. She didn't want to think about that right now. She was running away to protect herself and Danny. That was the official reason. But deep inside her, Jee knew that she wished to forget. She wanted to forget about the scars her mother had given her. And she hoped her new home would help her.

La Push. Since it was the Quileute reservation, she hoped they would fit in. She had heard about the high school there, maybe she could graduate there in a few years. But Jee also knew that she probably would never have the chance to graduate and go to college. She just had not the time; if she wanted to live there, she would have to get a job and earn enough money to hire a babysitter for Danny. And that was if no-one asked her questions like, 'Where are you from? Why did you move here?' Perhaps she would have to live on the streets for one year, until she was at least seventeen. It was a future she could be happy with.

Avria curled into a ball on her chest as she drifted slowly off to sleep…

_Her mother was furious. __"How could you kill him?! __You're such a burden! What did you do all day?" She demanded._

_Jee covered her ears. She thought about the golden leaf Danny had found, and how happy he has been when he had shown it to her._

"_A leaf. How cute," her mother said sarcastically. "It's not even a pretty colour. Do you ever do anything useful?"_

_Jee nodded. She thought how she took care of Danny, how she read stories to him and how she had taught him how to walk._

"_Useless! Useless! You're father should be happy he hasn't got to deal with you little bastard!" _

_Daddy, Jee whimpered. Daddy…_

"_And now she's running away! Do you really think it's going to be so easy for you? Go away and forget? No! You will never leave me! Never!"_

"_I will come and get you, I promise you that!" _

And with those words, Jee awoke. She looked around. Danny was sleeping peacefully, and Avria was watching her carefully. Jee's heart was beating frantically. She hopped down onto the ground. Her eyes were watering. She needed to get away. Again her eyes were wandering around, looking at the trees in the shining moonlight.

She saw a movement. There was an animal. Jee froze. Had it noticed her?

It came nearer. It was a wolf.

Jee could see its colour – sandy. She was stunned. The wolf in front of her was beautiful, still daunting. She knew she should have been scared. But she wasn't. The wolf didn't look like he wanted to eat her, and Jee trusted her body language. She stared at the wolf's eyes. They seemed to be too intelligent for an animal. And what surprised Jee most, the wolf stared into her eyes as well. She felt a connection towards him she couldn't classify.

Suddenly, the wolf turned around and disappeared in the trees. Jee was relieved and sad at the same time, deep inside her she had wished the wolf would have stayed with her until the morning broke. She leaned against the tree and closed her eyes.

"Hey." A voice said, and Jee opened her eyes.

A boy/man stood there, about two feet away from her. He had short raven hair and the same skin tone as Jee. His deep brown eyes were amazing for her, and she stared into them in shock and surprise. She realized he stared at her as well, with a look of love and devotion. He was nearly cute looking at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

But in Jee, something else was going on. She saw in his eyes what she was looking for without even realizing it. This was a grown-up boy. He didn't see her as a burden, he wanted to spend every minute with her, and so wanted she. But, most importantly, she felt that this was the boy she was meant to be with. They were meant to be. Her heart was connected to his, and she knew they would be bonded forever.

Looking at him, Jee saw her whole world standing there. Her world suddenly revolved around him. She jumped into his arms and he smiled before he finally pressed his lips against hers. It was a greeting for Jee, a welcome into her new world, the life with him. His hot lips kissed her gently and carefully. After they broke the kiss, he still hugged her and Jee leaned into his warmth. She needed him. And in this moment, she knew why she was running away. They were both in a trance. They had lived too long without each other to be separated ever again. Jee felt like he was the air she needed to breathe, and she felt for the first time in her life free. But at the same time, the nightmares filled her head again. Fear took over, and Jee held onto him for dear life.

"She's gone crazy," she said, quietly. "Safe me."

His arms pressed Jee against his chest. "You're here now. I'm with you."

"I don't want to end up like her. I don't want to be like her."

"You won't," he promised. "You're happy."

"She's caught," She whispered. "She's not herself anymore."

"I know," he answered, his face buried into her hair. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

"Protect me."

He kissed Jee again. "Yes, I will."

_A/N: This is the One-Shot I wrote today. I don't know if people like it or not, so I really need you to review it and tell me your opinion! It's different from the way I usually write, and I'm very unsure if I like it. And this time I wrote what crossed my mind, exactly the feelings I have experienced today, and I don't know if this was the right thing to do. I usually make things prettier, leave a few details out, but this time I wrote it all down. And, I also had no-one to beta it, because I wanted to post it now, so I'm really sorry if there are any mistakes. _

_If you like it, please tell me in a review. This is a One-Shot, but I'm considering writing a story like this. Many things would be very similar, especially the way I wrote it, so if you want to read a whole story like this, you will have to review and tell me. I think Jee is a very interesting character, and I love writing about her. Her whole name is Jelowna – something I came up with myself, so this is actually not a name that existed before. And, Avria is also a name I changed, and it doesn't mean happiness. But, this is fan fiction, and I really like those names. Do you like them as well?_

_**Please **__**review and I'll be forever grateful for that.!**_


	2. Someone Special

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Thanks to: Sierra Clearwater & TeamSwitzerland2323.

A/N: Second chapter, and again I had no-one to beta it. Sorry. Please review, because I'm not sure if I will continue writing this, seeing as I'm actually really busy and I have three other stories to write.

_**2. **__**Someone special**_

_To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved._

_And doesn't everyone trust?_

_But, Daddy, what if you're just too scared to trust?_

_Than, my girl, feel the fear and do it anyways. _

_-Trust them, and you'll regret it-_

_Before:_

"_Protect me." _

_He kissed me again. "Yes, I will."_

After that promise their very first conversation ended. They hugged each other tight; Jee was too caught up in their moment to think. There was nothing apart from that boy and her; no nothing. She couldn't even remember if there had ever been something. She didn't need anything else, and she never wanted it to end. It was difficult to explain. She had done drugs before, but what she was feeling now was only slightly similar. He made her world brighter; nothing had changed actually, but something changed for sure, Jee just couldn't tell what. If God came down to earth and offered her to take her to heaven and let her have everything she wanted, she would say "Only if I don't have to leave him." What kind of world was that? How could one person make her feel so special?

Seth however, knew exactly why he felt the way he did. Whenever he laid his eyes on her, the world stopped spinning and it was only his girl and him. He knew that part of his feelings was the imprinting, but he was also sure that he wasn't in love with her only because of the imprinting. He would have fallen for her anyways. And all he wanted to do was staying like this forever, so he wouldn't have to worry about what everyone else might say, what she might say when he told her about his secret. The future was not written in stone – was that a good or a bad thing? Things could change, yes, but Seth didn't want them to.

Seth sighed unhappily. He didn't want to let her go, but they couldn't stay in the forest forever. He let go of her, and Jee opened her eyes and smiled at him. He stared into her eyes, his look full of adoration and happiness, and Jee relaxed. The anxiety she had felt was gone. Without words, she laid her hand over his heart, and Seth laid his hand over her small one.

"What's your name, beautiful?" He asked her in English. Jee opened her mouth a few times, but no sound came out of it until she managed a whisper: "Jee." He brushed with one finger over her lips, and she smiled again. "I'm Seth." Jee didn't say anything, but waited patiently for him to continue. "Do you have a place to stay?" The second question and Jee turned away. After a moment, she shook her head.

"You can come with me, we can go to Emily," Seth offered, and his husky voice was pleading. Jee smiled half-hearty. "Yeah. Thank you." She didn't say that she would go everywhere with him, and that this thought relaxed and scared her at the same time. If it would have only been her, she wouldn't care. Her life was unimportant, but Danny's wasn't. She wanted him to have a chance, to be happy. So she held the little boy tight to her chest and went with Seth.

It didn't take them long to get to a small but cozy house. Avria hopped down to the ground and disappeared in the forest. Seth smiled encouragingly at her, before he opened the door and they both went in. Jelowna felt secure next to Seth, and she had never been in such a beautiful house like this, so she was stunned. But, in the moment a beautiful girl with three scars on her face appeared, the feeling of safety was gone and Jee was attentive again.

Emily smiled. "Hello, Seth. And who is this beautiful girl next to you?" Emily's words were friendly, but she looked curiously at Jee and Danny, and the girl wished she could just run away again. What did she want there? She didn't belong.

"This, Emily, is Jee," Seth explained. "Jee, this is Emily, Sam's wife. She is like a second mother to us."

Jelowna nodded. "Who is the little boy?" Emily asked, and Jee looked to the ground. Truth or lie?

"It's my son, Daniel," Jee finally said. Her voice got more confident, as she continued, "I had him when I was fourteen." Daniel, Danjiero, those names were similar, right? Better not tell them anything important. Who knows what they would tell the police when they found out who Jee really was?

Seth tensed up at her words. Of course, the little boy had attracted his attention. He looked so similar to Jee, yet so different. The way she held him to her chest, the way she looked at him, he could tell she was very protective towards him, and she loved him very much. Still, he couldn't imagine her as his mother. And Seth didn't want to think about Daniel's father. How could he leave her with their son like that? He wasn't the right one for Jee of course, but how could he do that to her? Also, Seth didn't want to admit it, but he was terribly jealous. He wanted to be the only one who had kissed Jee. She was his – or at least Seth wanted her to be his, so badly.

Emily sighed. "I guess you need a room to stay. Seth, you deal with Sam. Jee, would you like to stay in the guest room? You can take a shower while I make some food." She looked at Jee with sympathy, but Jee didn't care. She whispered, "Thank you, Emily."

Just in this moment, a two-year-old girl was running into Emily and tackled her legs. "Mommy! Mommy!" She turned around and saw Jee and Danny. Her eyes widened. "Who's this?"

Seth smiled at the lovely girl. "This is Jee and Daniel. Say hello, Abby."

Abigail, the first and only daughter of Sam and Emily, smiled at he boy in Jee's arms. "Hellow." Danny however, just stared at her. Jee watched him closely. He stared at this girl with sympathy. He definitely liked her, and eventually he smiled. He struggled in Jee's arms, so she set him down, and he tackled Abby immediately. They hugged, until Abby took his hand and lead him into the house to play. Jee was surprised.

Danny had always been a shy guy. He wasn't used to loving words or hugs. He had had only his sister. And she didn't expect him to open up so quickly. He really liked Abby, so it seemed. However, Jee wasn't worried. She trusted him. Was it naïve to trust a two year old? Maybe. But, at the moment Jelowna had other things to deal with. She turned to Seth and smiled at him one last time, before she followed Emily into the kitchen.

* * *

"Food's ready!" Emily shouted, and in a matter of seconds Jared, Seth and Abby sat down and shovelled their food into their mouths. However, Jee picked Danny up and sat shyly down. Emily filled her plate with a huge amount of food, and Jee's eyes were sparkling. She thanked Emily, before she took the fork and tried the food.

It tasted delicious. Enthusiastically Jee took another bite and then feed Danny. Both wolfed their food down; Jee chuckling and laughing and Danny just tried to eat as much as he could. The first moments everyone was watching them, but Jee was just too distracted by the food. The last time she had had real food was years ago, and she was sure she had never eaten something as yummy as this. It was so different from their usual food, the bread she had eaten the last few weeks, and also the stale soups she had cooked. So she was really enjoying this meal, and she knew Danny enjoyed it as well. While everyone else was speaking English, Dan and Jelowna spoke quietly Cherokee.

"_Do you like them_?" Danny asked chewing. Jee nodded. "_Yeah_._ They're nice, aren't they_?"

"_Yes_._ Abby showed me her room_._ She's pretty_." He said confidently.

His sister sniggered. "_Pretty, huh_?_ Even a little princess, maybe_?" She teased him.

Danny rolled his eyes, but nodded. Then they stared at each other for a second before they both laughed.

"_You're right, she's beautiful_._ And Emily is as well_._ Have you seen this Sam_?" Jelowna asked him. She knew the wife and children were usually more open and friendlier towards strangers, but the husbands and men wanted to protect their families. And, she wanted to make sure the man would be no threat towards her or Danny.

But Dan shook his head. "_No, but Abby said he reads bedtime stories to her. Can we stay here, Jee_?"

The girl sighed. "_I don't know. I hope so_." Yes, she really hoped they could stay – with Seth. She wanted to stay with this boy, she needed to see him. But, did she want to put Danny in danger? What would happen when they found out who she really was? What if the police found her and separated her and the little boy? She couldn't have that. She had to be careful, she wasn't allowed to trust. She would never be allowed to trust, now, would she?

But wasn't it the right thing to do? Normal people trusted the ones they loved. But did they really or did it only seem like that?

And what would happen if he let her down? Would she be as strong as she was now, or would she be hurting inside? Jee sighed. She wanted to trust, she wanted to trust them all. She wanted to trust Emily, Seth; she even wanted to trust her mom. But she didn't. And she wasn't sure if she could ever change it; she didn't want to get hurt.

If she wasn't so deep in thought, she would have laughed at the irony. Who could hurt her more than she already was? Had she forgotten about the things her mother did to her, how she took everything the girl had had, and left her with nothing but her little brother. How this woman made her own teenage daughter, actually still a child back then, look after a baby. Had she forgotten how her father had promised her he would never leave them alone, and then he passed away? Leaving her all on her own in her own personal hell?

And though that all, she still was herself. Somehow. She managed to smile, to go on with her life without committing suicide. She even managed to run away and find a new place to stay. But she longed for safety. That was what she wanted, what she needed, but at the same time she had too many responsibilities to meet to act immature.

"_It's so green_! _And so rainy_! _Can we go to the beach, please_?" Jee snapped out of her thoughts and was suddenly very aware of all the looks she and Danny were getting. She smiled shyly and put one finger over Danny's lips to shut him up until everyone else started talking again.

"_Yeah. Tomorrow. I told you we would find a place with water and forests. You want to build a sandcastle with Abby_?" She whispered to him. He nodded enthusiastically, and she had to laugh at his cute expression.

Suddenly she realized that everyone had become quiet again, and she searched for a reason. They were all staring at her, besides Danny who made himself more comfortable on her lap and leaned against her chest. He was tired. "Is… is everything ok?" Jee asked carefully.

Seth, sitting next to her, smiled. "We were just listening. What language is that?"

Jee blushed slightly. She didn't even realize the others didn't understand what she and Danny had said to each other. It was just such a usual thing to do. "Cherokee. I'm sorry I didn't realize…"

"No, dear," Emily interrupted her. "It sounds wonderful. You sound really happy when you're speaking that." She smiled genuinely at her.

Jee looked down at Danny. "It's the language we used to speak… before." She sighed, but thankfully nobody asked more questions. Emily sent her another smile, and Seth watched her with concern. He cared, but he didn't know. Nobody knew. And Jee wasn't sure if she wanted them to know. What would they think about it?

"Jee?" Emily's voice brought her back to reality. Jelowna smiled slightly. "Yes?"

"Would you help me with the dishes? I know it's not the polite thing to ask, but I really could use your help," Emily said softly.

Jee nodded. She kissed Danny on the forehead and set him down. He stumbled a bit against the next chair, but Seth caught him and lifted him onto his shoulders. "I got him." Jee smiled a thanks before she followed Emily in the kitchen.

As they started working, Jee felt completely at ease. Emily was a very friendly person, but Jelowna especially respected her because she was tactful, too. She didn't gossip like most women did, and she accepted that Jee didn't tell them everything when she first saw her.

Now, Jee raised her head slightly as Emily started to speak. "I know that you have gone through bad times," she said bluntly. "I can see it when you look down or when you're deep in thought. It must be difficult for you to raise Daniel, too. You're just a child. And you're all on your own. That can't be easy. Two-year-olds can be trouble, I should know that."

Jelowna only nodded. She didn't know where this was going, but she definitely didn't like it. "You … had a fight with his father, right?" Now Emily looked at her as she waited for an answer.

Jelowna replied truthfully. "No."

"But he's not with you anymore?"

Jee nodded again. "He left. It's been only Daniel and me since then."

Emily smiled sadly. "So he was too scared. What about your parents? They weren't happy about your pregnancy, were they?"

Again, the truth. "My mother has always had … her own way to see things."

Now, Emily was curious. "What about her?"

Jelowna sighed and looked down, ashamed. "I'd rather not tell you," she said quietly.

The woman looked at her, and then nodded slowly. "Okay," she answered. "But you ran away, right?"

"Yes." Emily opened her mouth to ask another question, but the girl cut her off. "Please, Emily. Don't ask anymore questions, I can't tell you about that. I… I'd love to, but I can't. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," the woman replied, but with the harsh look she gave Jee, Jee could see that it was definitely not. Jelowna wanted to say something else, but she was interrupted by Danny, who tackled her leg and hid behind it. He pressed himself tight against her, searching for the familiar calming of her presence.

She turned to him. "_What's the matter_?"

Danjiero didn't answer, but stared in the opposite direction. Jee turned around and saw a huge man standing there. Shock ran through her. This man was so familiar with his high cheekbones and the deep unique and catchy eyes. Blue, green, golden. Exactly the ones Jee had, and exactly the ones Jee's father had had. With his raven hair and his tanned skin, he looked like a younger version of her father. How could that be? At the same moment as confusion took over, a sharp pain stabbed through Jelowna's chest.

He was gone! He wasn't supposed to be here! Jee was feeling too many emotions at the same time. She was angry at him. Angry because he was here or because he reminded her of the only one she had trusted before he had left her? Four years ago. It had been four years, and she had nearly forgotten how good it had felt when he had hugged her! Suddenly she felt guiltily. Was this the way she was supposed to remember her Dad? Was it usual that she didn't remember more about him than his smile and the lullaby he used to sing to her?

The younger version of her Daddy stared at her as well, probably realizing they both had the same rare eyes. He didn't smile, didn't frown, only stared at her with his mouth half open. That was until Danjiero said startled, "Daddy."

With this one word, another sharp pain stabbed though Jee's chest, and tears formed in her eyes. Daddy. Danny couldn't remember his Dad because he had died just before her mother found out she was pregnant, but still, he had seen him on the photographs his sister had shown him. And he just looked so similar to Jee that even a two-year-old had noticed. Was it that obvious? But how was this possible? It couldn't be him, could it?

No. No, it wasn't him; Jee had to make herself believe. She couldn't take it if he had left her because he wanted to, and not because he had to. She wouldn't be able to take it if he had had a choice. She had trusted him. She still trusted the man she had once called 'Daddy'.

"Don't… don't call him that. He's not… he isn't. He can't be," Jee whispered horrified. She was so scared; what if the guy in front of her was her real father? What if it had been too much for him and he had left her with her mother?

She wouldn't be able to forgive him.

Thank God, the guy shook his head. Jee smiled. "No, I'm not your Daddy, little one. Who are you?" he said in a deep voice. After all those years still terrifying familiar for Jee's ears, and she hesitated a moment before she answered him. "I'm Jee, and this here is Daniel."

"I'm Sam," he said with a smile. Her father's smile; and her own smile faded. "Nice to meet you," Jee said politely.

"You too," he answered before he went to Emily, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. "They're staying with us, aren't they?" He asked slightly annoyed.

"Yes. Say your thanks to Seth and be nice," she scolded him. He looked like a lost puppy when she glared at him, and Jee found it adorable. Emily brushed with her hand over his cheek, and he grinned again.

"Why… why did he call me 'Daddy'?" Sam looked at Emily, but the Jelowna knew the question was directed at her. "You look like very similar to his father. I'm very sorry," she said quietly.

"You look very similar to Sam as well," Emily said thoughtfully. "Why?" Sam stiffened immediately, and Jee felt the tension in the air.

"I don't know. My Dad passed away four years ago," she said while tears formed in her eyes. "We… we were very close. But Dan has never met his father." Too much of the truth, she thought. At least they didn't know Danny's father and her's was one and the same.

Emily sighed. "You won't tell us the whole truth, right?" Jelowna swallowed. She had gone through this a lot of times, and she had never been so honest before. And no-one had ever been as outspoken as Emily. "No… Well, at least I'm trying not to," the girl admitted. What did it matter if she was herself for five minutes? Would it really make such a big difference, or was she just too much of a coward to tell them the truth?

"I shouldn't do it. It might put Danny and me in danger," Jee said. "And I don't want that. Can't risk it."

To her surprise Sam nodded as if he knew what she was talking about. "Sometimes secrets are the best for everyone involved."

Jelowna met his eyes and she knew that he understood her. More than Emily, and she knew that he was something special; special not in the way Seth or Danny was, but special in the way her Dad had been. Maybe she could trust him one day; not now, but at least sooner than others.

Silence fell over them all for a moment, and before the conversation started again, Seth came in. "It's kinda late, don't you want to go to bed?" His smile was contagious, and Jee found herself beaming back at him. She nodded, picked Danny up and wished Emily and Sam a good night before she followed Seth outside. He led their way upstairs to a nice bedroom, and stopped in front of the door as Jee laid Danny down on the bed. "I guess I should say goodnight to you," he whispered shyly. "I didn't get to spend too much time with you today."

Jee smiled sadly and they hugged. His warmth was radiating, and his presence made her feel oddly comfortably and completed her in a special way. When ever he held her, Jee would be completely herself and she didn't need to fear about making mistakes. With him, there were no mistakes. He was perfect the way he was, and his happiness made her happy as well. This, Jee realised, was someone to trust. And she didn't need to tell herself twice. In this very moment, she trusted him with her life.

_Please review.!_


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